Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Its gettin Cold in here!!

Cold Shoulder

Deliberate coldness or disregard or a slight snub.
For example, When I said hello to her in the library, she gave me the cold shoulder and walked away; He's been very cold to me lately [OR] He's been giving me the cold shoulder lately.
This term, which first appeared in writings by Sir Walter Scott - [Early 1800s]

(SOURCE: http://www.answers.com [ONLINE], 31st July 2007)
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Cold shoulder, silent treatment do more harm than good

Cold shoulder, Silent treatment = Ostracism

Ostracism is more powerful now than ever because people have fewer strong family and friend support systems to fall back on when faced with exclusion in relationships, the workplace. "The effects of ostracism are a health concern," says Kipling Williams, professor of psychological sciences who researches ostracism. "Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder or silent treatment, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realize the emotional or physical harm that is being done. Some purposely hurt others by not inviting them to a party or ignoring them at work, and others may not even realize they are ostracizing someone when they ignore a new temporary employee or a friend after a disagreement.

In the past, people who were ostracized at work or by a friend could seek support and control through another significant relationship. But because people report growing more distant from extended family and relying on fewer close friendships, they might lack the support to deal with ostracism.

Ostracism is one of the most widely used forms of social punishment, and some see it as more humane than corporal punishment, as when used in a time-out, but there is a deeper psychological impact that needs to be taken seriously. When people are ostracized, it can affect their perceptions, physiological conditions, attitude and behavior - all of which sometimes can lead to aggression.

Although sometimes ostracism is unintentional, there are people who use ostracism as a tool to gain control of a situation.

Ostracism is powerful because you can get away with them. If people are physically or verbally abusive, they can be punished. But it's hard to punish someone for not making eye contact or ignoring another person. If the person is confronted by asking, 'Why are you not talking to me?,'or 'Why have you been avoiding me lately?' the person can easily deny the accusation.



SOURCE: Kipling Williams, (765) 494-0845, kip@psych.purdue.edu


Its a really good write-up. There's more to it but its too long, so these are juz the main points. Juz thought i'll share it with you guys.

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